I Spy…

I recently read a post at one of my daily visits and was inspired to write my own version. The article was about crummy things about living in the countryside. I too live in the sticks but only in Ireland and not America. As an American I have a unique view of how things are here that most Irish may not see. I decided to go ahead and do my own list of things crummy about living in the Irish Countryside (at least for me).

Don’t worry I will also do a positive post about the good things as well.

1. Farmers rule the road and they know it. Whether it be with a very slow tractor or heard of sheep and cattle, they do what they like, when they like and don’t care if you need to get to work.

2. Worrying sheep is against the law. I really don’t know what worrying a sheep consists of but they take it seriously in these parts. Don’t blow your horn or you might worry something or someone.

3. Don’t even think about doing the speed limit. Most the roads here have massive pot holes at one place or another and the warnings for a huge curve in the road are far and few in between. Just because the sign says you can do 60 MPH does not mean you should. Also refer to number 1 and 2 since hitting a sheep probably counts as worrying a sheep.

4. Latte? Yeah right. I will admit the espresso is getting better but everyone is so used to drinking tea that actual brewed coffee is just not done. It’s all instant coffee here. If Starbucks does show up I will retract this one.

5. The Police are scared of the people. The police or Guarda Garda as we call them are massively under staffed and under resourced so they try not to confront large groups and when they do you can tell they are a bit scared. They pretty much rely on self governing which used to work back in the 60’s but not much anymore.

6. Say no to Craic. Yes we have Crack here too but it means gossip and everyone wants to know what the “criac” is. If you do ANYTHING out of the ordinary everyone will know about it. Gossip is king in these parts.

7. Irish time is not always a good thing. Things happen at a much slower pace here in the country. Some may say this is a positive but when your trying get something done (like buying a house) it can be very frustrating. It can take 6 months to buy a house even after you and the seller have agreed on a price. This is because they use lawyers to do the contracts.

8. Bureaucracy is king. The Irish love their forms and boy do they use them. To do anything you must fill out at least 10 forms and jump through a minimum of 3 hoops.

To give you an example. We recycle and it means dropping off our recycling ourselves. This I can live with but before we can go to the drop off point we must first buy stamps. The number of stamps depends on how much you have to recycle, usually one stamp per “car” load. These stamps must be bought at a local gas station or shop not the recycling center. If one shop has run out you must find one that still has some left. If you buy too many stamps you’ve wasted money and if you don’t buy enough you will be forced to go back and buy more before you can drop off your stuff. This is enough to put anyone off doing it all together.

9. To get anything done you must know someone who knows someone. Since bureaucracy is king and things take forever you usually end up waiting for a really long time unless you know someone who knows someone. Sometimes they can put in a good word with the person that would normally do it once they get a notice from Dublin or the main office and ask them to help you out first.

For example. When I first moved here I wanted Broadband (as you do). We bought a house close enough to town so that we would be eligible for the Broadband. Once we moved in I was told (by a women in Dublin) the line was too weak and I did not qualify. I asked when it would be upgraded and she said not for a few years if at all. I then asked around and a friend of my wife knew a guy who knew another guy who worked for the company. He then came over on a weekend (as a favor) and told me what was wrong with the line and how to “work ” the system. I eventually got my broadband installed.

10. VAT is a bad word and used a lot. VAT stands for Value Added Tax and everything has so much “value” these days that they tax the daylights out of it. I will admit this is an Irish thing and not so much a country thing but it still drives me nuts.

They have different levels of VAT depending on the product. If the item is considered to be a luxury it’s taxed the most and things people need are taxed less. This would be great if the list made sense. Just to make my point here is a list of things considered to be a “luxury” item and taxed the maximum amount:

Diapers
Condoms
Tampons
Bottled Water
Baby and Child Car Seats

Here is the inspirational link to the post that started this:

http://bloggrrl.com/blog141/country-living-isnt-all-its-cracked-up-to-be/

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